You just accepted a position in another state and will no longer be available to mentor your student. You are leaving in one month. How do you handle this situation? This is a very delicate situation, where a mentee's psyche can be damaged if you don't achieve healthy closure. Young people today have many adults come and go in their lives. Very rarely are they provided with the opportunity to properly say goodbye.
- Immediately contact your program coordinator and discuss a plan to create closure and find ways to help your mentee not feel abandoned.
- You will need to consider carefully how you are going to tell your mentee.
- Identify natural emotions, such as grief, denial and resentment
- Help your mentee to express his or her emotions by modeling the behavior. For example, if your relationship is coming to a close and you and your mentee enjoyed your time together, you might say something like: "I am going to really miss you. I have enjoyed our time together." However, you must be honest. If your relationship is coming to a close and your time together was all right but not great, then don't lie and say that you are going to be sad that this is over. Also, do not expect the young person to reciprocate. Even though you shared your emotions as a means of modeling, your mentee still might not feel comfortable sharing his or her emotions.
- You may want to plan a special activity that you can do together before you leave.
- Do not leave projects unfinished.
- If it is at all possible to keep in contact with your mentee, we highly recommend you do so. You can discuss appropriate ways with your Program Coordinator. Just wanting to stay in contact is a strong affirming message to your mentee. You may create a pen-pal or e-mail relationship, schedule time to talk on the phone.
- Perhaps there is another mentor that can be matched with your mentee.
